I wish I could teleport
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
