Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
