so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
where am i from again
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
