omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
