Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
