i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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