I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
