it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
