Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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