How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
