Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
