Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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