So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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