dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
