Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
