She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
