Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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