i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
