I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
