just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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