Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
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so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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