Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
did i walk over a car last night?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
