We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my shit smells like andre
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
