He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Randomize
