It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
