he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
