Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
