Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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