I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
