i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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