I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
