we're blogging at a bar
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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