we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
