the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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