ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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