His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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