bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
