i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
