the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
