Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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