I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm sobbing to NWA
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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