I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
