Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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