Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
