don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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