My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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