you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize