Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
