Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Randomize
