I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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