i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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