whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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