HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
