Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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