all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
