Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
