Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
