i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
