Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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