Is it because I queefed?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We need to get me chipped asap
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
