i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Randomize
