Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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