I'm going to jail i love you
Your tits are I can't wait for
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
