we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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