Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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