covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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