And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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