Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
