its not stalking. its research.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
