All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
