I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
