mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
