just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
