But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
